How To Work Off Junk Food

So I’ve come to a realization; I won’t be able to reach everybody with my Moses version of the “fitness commandments “. in fact, Some people are going to read my blogs, tweets, and Facebook post while on line to order a number 5 from Popeyes and say ” fuck off Irv ” but since I love yall like Kanye loves Kanye, I figured why not give you the blueprint on how to work off them (un)wanted calories  and what it would take. 
 So In short, considering that the average person workouts for 50min we are basically content with committing 20 to 30min just working off that one beer. Cruel summer approaching.

  It would take the average man an hour of cardio or an hour and 20min of weightlifting to burn off 3 pieces of chicken. While it will take women an hour and 15min of cardio and almost 2 hours of weight lifting. Which means that your officially a chicken now. 
  So since my plan to burn down every McDonald’s in America is not going as planned be prepared to spend almost an hour of working out just to cleanse the soul of a burger. Good luck. 
  Ladies , 15-20min to burn the calories from a soda and fellas, 10 to 15min… JUST DRINK WATER!! 
  So with this chocolate cake ladies and gentlemen, you now officially live in the gym, pay rent, and have to cover the sauna bill. The average person burn between 500-650 calories per workout so you would need  to clear your schedule just to get rid of that birthday cake. 
 20 to 30 min to burn this chocolate bar off, now ask yourself … Do you really need it ? 

* puts on math glasses* 

Let’s put this into perspective. Since most people find themselves eating/drinking this list of items everyweek, let’s break down how much time you will need to spend working out to burn off this addiction 

Men, It would take us:

Cardio : 308min = 5 hours and 13 min

Weightlifting : 412min = 6 hours and 52 min

Women, it would take yall:

Cardio : 368min= 6 hours and 8min

Weightlifting: 492min= 8 hours and 2min

Now, thats just about a week in the gym just to burn off 6 meals ( you actually need to eat 5 to 6 meals a day) Which will now put you behind in losing weight or gaining muscle mass cause your literally chasing 6 meals for 5-6 days.
My job here is done * walks into sal’s pizza store with a picture of Malcolm X, Jay-Z, and Mike Tyson! To put on the wall *


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s